Hope in Trying Times
I was in high school when the 2008 “Great Recession” hit the American economy. I knew it was a big deal but had very little money or investments at this time, therefore I was unable to fully feel the turmoil of those days. My experience has been quite different during the last month.
The emotions that have flared up in me have been wide ranging, fluctuating between peace and terror. As I write this, Jackie and I are under contract to purchase our first home. I’m so excited; now, if I’m honest I’m equally as terrified. I feel out of control. I’ve been undisciplined in what I’m feeding my mind with and have been infected with a disease more contagious than Covid-19: fear.
Yet, when I come before God I find peace. It’s deep, wide, boundless and safe. My soul breathes easy in it. It was God that led us to the house. We stumbled into the owner by chance one evening as we were touring homes. This led to a 30-minute conversation and an opportunity to prophesy to him. It was a really beautiful moment. God was there. We loved the house and felt the peace of God as we walked through it. The next day we put in an offer.
We’d been turned down on three offers already this spring. Two of those houses we loved and so the rejection stung. As we waited over the weekend to hear back on this one I was feeling vulnerable. I didn’t want to hope, but I had so sensed God in the process and I couldn’t help but have a good feeling about it. We were supposed to hear Monday afternoon, and with each passing hour the tension was mounting. In the early afternoon I felt led by God to turn off my phone and go for a drive through my old neighborhood. As I began to drive I was anxious and going really fast, but He asked me to slow down and go below the speed limit. I obeyed and found my soul followed suit, sinking into the deep peace of His Presence. In that peace He spoke to me:
“I’m going to give you that land as your inheritance. It will be a garden to you and in it your soul will find great delight.”
I knew I’d heard from God. The house (and yard!) was ours. I drove home and told Jackie. I was nervous to believe because of the threat of disappointment, but I believed nonetheless. Two hours later we got the call- the house was ours! But there was more, the owner turned down better cash offers because he knew the house was supposed to be ours because there were two “signs”- the Lion and the Dove. Seriously.
The Lion? The front door has a lion knocker on it. I had casually asked him about it when chatting with him the first night we met and mentioned how I loved lions. It struck a cord with him- he wrote on our acceptance letter “This house belongs with lions!” For those of you who don’t know me well or haven’t read my book- my core revelation of Jesus came as he manifested Himself to me as the Lion of Judah. It was the moment that changed everything.
The Dove? As he’d started working on the house, getting it ready to sell, two turtledoves had come to continuously rest upon the roof. When he met us, he immediately thought of the two doves, and felt strongly that us “lovebirds” should have the home. The core pursuit of my life is to abide in Christ and be a place where His Spirit (the Dove) rests. Pretty cool!
All this to say we were ecstatic! I personally felt very loved by God. At that point, we were set to close April 2ndand have a month to get the house ready to move-in after our May 1stwedding. It was a dream!
Now, less than a month later it seems everything has turned upside down. The market is tanking. Word on the street is the housing market could drop 30%. Our wedding is cancelled and we’re fighting to get refunds. The dream has changed very swiftly. And yet, God remains and in Him I find peace.
I tried to shake the house. Really. I have every rational reason in the book to walk away from it. Truth be told I went to bed last night in anxiety about it. But the truth is I can’t shed the conviction that God has called us there. It makes no sense to my own understanding, but in my spirit I have peace. My soul is vacillating and experiencing so many difficult emotions, but in my heart I know where He is.
Throughout the last decade God has taught me the importance of precedence. You cannot build anything of great value without a solid foundation. For Jackie and I, right now everything is establishing precedence and laying a foundation for what our life together will hold. The last month has been really challenging, emotional, and exhausting. We have processed the pain of our fears and broken expectations and now are prepared, in the face of a potential economic collapse, to lay a cornerstone of bold faith in following the voice of Jesus. We feel He has called us to this house and though backing out may save us money and makes more sense, we will lean on His understanding and trust His voice more than our own. We want to live on the cutting edge with God, and though this may cost us our comfort and potentially our money, He is worth it.
I’ve found consolation in the obedience Jeremiah modeled during the impending destruction of Jerusalem. Nebuchanezar was sieging the city. Jeremiah had been prophesying that Israel would fall and be given to exile. And then God spoke to Jeremiah and told him to purchase a plot of land in the city, as a prophetic promise, that in the wake of impending pain and destruction, God would be faithful to restore His people.
This is not the end of the American economy. The story of our nation has yet to be finished. We have entered a significant new chapter, where God is working to bring our nation to its knees, so that we can once again be a nation under God. I sense there will be suffering in the days ahead as the idol of mammon is exposed as powerless. There will be mourning, but as repentance crashes like a wave across our land, our mourning will be turned to joy. For Jackie and I, buying this house attaches us to the pain and uncertainty of what’s happening. It ensures we will be “in the world”, which will give opportunity to live in a way that’s not “of it”. We want to play our part in bringing Heaven to Earth and will seek to create a garden of His Presence in the midst of these trying times. Though our knees are wobbly right now, in our spirit’s we have hope. God is faithful and His promise is restoration. May He restore and liberate us from the idols that seek to destroy our lives. May He wake up this nation and once again shake our land with the power of revival.
Abounding in hope,
Jordan